Love Hina: The Crackiness within
by Vegetto800
Summary: Just a silly little fic for you fans.
1. Chapter 1

The Hinata Crew were having breakfast.

Suddenly, a loud music began to play and through the front door walked in WWE superstar Shawn Michaels, dressed in a flashy-looking, shinny red suit.

He walked in, doing poses for a moment and then began tapping his foot on the floor repeatedly.

Naru, wonderin' just who the Hell was this guy stood up with an angry expression.

"Hey! Just WHO do you think you a-" she was cut-off by Michael's boot connecting with her jaw.

Sweet Chin Music, everyone.

The entire crew just sat there in stunned silence. Suddenly all heads turnned to the sound of someone clapping lightly.

It was Shinobu.

The Hinata Crew were sitting down having a nice lunch.

There was a knock at the door. Motoko told everyone that she would get it, and promptly got up. Upon reaching the door it exploded into a mass of splintered wood and rice paper.

In the now gaping hole that was once their door, stood an imposing figure. It was about 8' tall and had fishnet and armour adorning it's body. A mask was perched on it's face hiding any trace of what it might be.

Motoko stood slowly and pulling her sword. The thing saw this and said something. **"** High Ya!**"**

A massive hand was brought down on Motoko's head effectivly knocking her out. Everyone else ran out to see what the commotion was. Su was the first to speak.

" Ohhhhhh...Hello Mr. Predator!" Su said excitedly.

The Hinata Crew were having dinner.

Suddenly…Naru instantaneously combusted.

"'Bout time!" Keitaro yelled.

Everyone else just cheered and Kitsune threw a party.

A Midnight snack was exactly what Keitaro needed.

Walking down the stairs and into the kitchen at this hour, was something he had been doing for sometime now.

He walked by the pile of ash that was once Naru and couldn't help but chuckle. Walking on, he entered the kitchen and proceeded to get something.

What poor Keitaro failed to realize was that someone else was already in there, stalking him!

To late Keitaro heard the sounds of rapidly approaching foot steps. He spun around but was knocked to the floor by the heavily bandaged Motoko.

She gave him a steely glare. **" **I am going to end this once and for all!**" ** she proclaimed.

She stripped off all the bandages drawning her sword to a high arc, Keitaro closed his eyes, waiting the impending doom. Another set of VERY heavy footsteps could be heard and felt.

Then a shrill war cry was heard. **"** HIGH YA!!**"**

Keitaro looked up and noticed their predator friend was back. He was helped but and shook the beings hand.

" Thanks Bob!" Keitaro said smiling.

A/N: just a stupid little crack-fic that me and **Major Mike Powell III **

Decided to do. Hope you all enjoyed it. R & R.


	2. Chapter 2

The Hinata Crew were having breakfast.

Then, Ron Simmons walked in. He stood in front of the dinning table, with the group's eyes on him, all looking curiously. He looked around the room, then the people having their meal, then at the camera, and then back at the Crew.

Then suddenly!

"DAMN!"

Everyone at the table definitely not expecting that, all had various different reactions. Like Keitaro for instance, ended up spilling his curry all over his lap.

Naru ended up having massive facial burns from Kitsune's flying bowl of doom!

Motoko usually being the calmest of the group sat there practicly ghost white. This was simply not her day.

Su, mostly looked on in confusion. She was not entirely sure on why he would say something like that.

Poor little Shinobu's heart nearly gave out and a rather large kitchen knife flew out of her hand and just missing Naru's head by a few inches, as it imbedded itself into the kitchen wall.

Ron Simmons just simply looked back at the camera with a funny look.

……………………………………………………………………………….

The Hinata Crew were sitting down for Lunch.

When Harry Potter walked in. He looked confused at first, not really knowing where he was at the moment. Then he turned and looked at the residents that were sitting at the table.

Looking around he noticed a diverse group of people some looking his age and younger, while others looked slightly older. His eyes settled on Naru and noticed a red aura filtering off of her. Red eyes also added to the effect.

She was mad because another male had entered the dorm.

Harry Potter noticed her making a move and he quickly pulled out his wand.

"Bombarda!" He yelled, as a giant red beam lanced out and struck Naru in the chest thus blowing her into tiny pieces.

Everyone was stunned! Suddenly, Motoko got up and said. "you have to show me how you did that!"

……………………………………………………………………………….

The Hinata Crew were having dinner.

And Naru was alive and kickin'.

Suddenly, a fiery hole appeared in the middle of the room, and once the fire was out, there stood the Hellspawned Ninja, Scorpion.

He shifted his pupil-less eyes to the table and centered them on Naru, who began to sweat.

Scorpion suddenly drew his Mugai Ryu with 1 hand, while with the other, he skilfully threw a tipped kunai tied to a rope at Naru.

She cried out when the blade struck right in the chest.

"GET OVER HERE!" Scorpion barked and then, with a mighty pull, Naru went almost flying her way towards him.

She watched in horror as Scorpion's Mugai Ryu went in towards her head.

Once with Naru he be-headed her, Scorpion raised his sword and sheathed it on his back, and then exploded into flames, returning to the depths of the Nether realm.

And with the show over…

"I'm SO not cleaning THAT up!" Shinobu announced.

……………………………………………………………………………….

Another Midnight snack for Keitaro was in order.

He walked down like usual and then into the kitchen. He noticed with a disgusted look, that Naru's remains were still laying on the floor. Her head was tipped looking upwards. Eyes glassed over from the lifelessness, but still held that accusing stare towards Keitaro.

He gulped a little, but continued on. Reaching into the fridge, he took out a box of left overs that Shinobu always seemed to leave there just for him.

Opening the box and taking a big wiff, he sighed in content at the aroma of the food. He then noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. Naru was somehow pulling herself back together!

Keitaro was scared now. True Naru had been killed many times before and come back, but he had never had to witness it before!

Once Naru's body was standing, she bent over and picked up her head. Putting on top of her shoulders. Keitaro watched in horror as she twisted it until it fit again.

She turned her head towards Keitaro and gave him a hard glare, which only meant pain and suffering for him. Keitaro got on his knees praying to any god that would listen, to save his ass.

She advanced toward him and just as she was about to reach him. Another portal appeared near where Scorpion's had been earlier. This time however instead of the yellow and black clad ninja, came out a blue and black clad ninja named Sub-zero.

Naru stopped dead in her tracks. Her face showing the same fear she had earlier. Sub-zero quickly thrust out his hands and engulfed her in ice.

He ran to her and punched his hand through the ice, grabbing her chin and yanking with considerable force thus removing her head and spine all together.

Her last thought was. "I hate my life"

Keitaro had never been so happy in his life. He kept bowing before the ice god.

" thank you..thank you..OH GOD PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" he shouted when he noticed Sub-zero advance on him.

Sub-zero helped the poor man up and clapped him on the back.

"Nice weather we're having."

……………………………………………………………………………….

A/N : funny little things we have here huh? Me and **Major Mike Powell III ** hope you enjoyed this. R&R.


	3. Chapter 3

The Hinata Crew were having breakfast.

For once it was a quiet affair. It didn't seem that anything weird would be happening this morning. Or so Keitaro had silently hoped. And true to his own hellish lifestyle...

A dark feeling came over him, and he felt cold all of a sudden. Then a black hole or portal? Appeared in the ground next to the table where he sat. A figure rose up out of the black swirling mist.

Once completely emerged, Keitaro noticed that something was decidedly off about this person. He was wearing a rather long trench coat that was blood red in color. A hat that matched in color to his coat and underneath the hat, there was a mop of long black hair. Under the coat he wore a black vest with a white shirt underneath it. His pants were also the same black color at his vest and boots also matched the're color as well.

He looked around until deep orange and red eyes settled on Keitaro, to which made the young man gulp in fear. Keitaro quickly thought of fleeing, but was stopped when the man or whatever he was spoke.

" Ah. You must me Keitaro.." the man said in a silky smooth voice that would have any woman practically creaming in their pants.

" Uh..well..Uh! Maybe!" He stuttered.

" Well, if you are then I have heard a lot about you from a young lady by the name of Narusegawa. And I must say, in a way she was right about you." The man drawled out.

" Umm...w-what d-do you m-mean?" Keitaro really tried to keep his stuttering under control, but he failed miserably.

" It seems that YOU have surrounded yourself with a gaggle of lovely women!" This man said excitedly.

Keitaro feeling a little more bravely, He said..."And who are you!" He asked bitingly.

Slapping his forehead. "Ugh! Where are my manners? My name is Alucard." He said bowing. And taking off his hat.

"I serve the Hellsing corporation." He rose. "Now as I was saying. This Naru, had said you were a pervert and a womanizer! Soooo I had to see for myself!" Alucard was practically jumping on the balls of his feet in joy.

"what do you mean?" Keitaro asked confused.

"Well, I thought that maybe..you could tell me how you got so lucky with such lovely women, PLEASE!!"

This was to much for Kitsune and she lept to her feet and sat right in Keitaro's lap.

"It's easy for our Keitaro here! I mean after all he has a monstrous Co...mphf!" She was cut off by Keitaro's hand covering her mouth.

"KITSUNE!" Keitaro was now beat red and everyone else had burst out laughing at him.

Poor Alucard just looked sad. He had figured out what she was going to say and he felt that he was inadequate.

" I see...I'll be going now" and just as before he opened a portal to the nether-realm and disappeared, never to be heard from again.

The Hinata Crew were having a nice lunch, still kinda wierded out by Alucard's visit earlier that morning.

Oh, and Kitsune was STILL sitting in Keitaro's lap.

And Naru's eyebrow was twitching...though nobody paid attention to her, which made her eyebrow twitch even more.

Then, suddenly!

"Bombs away! Bombs away!" a male voice, and suddenly the floor beneath the table opened up and the crew fell on top of an A-bomb. Then, the ground beneath the bomb opened up and the whole crew began an over-a-mile freefall through the sky, riding the bomb with cowboy hats in hand.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" they all shouted, waving the cowboy hats in the air as they fell.

Their target: a bunch of hippies.

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The Hinata Crew were having Dinner. Feeling a little stiff after their MEETING with the hippies.

Before dinner could really progress, there was a knock at the door. Everyone at first ignored the knocking, hoping that whoever it was would go away. Soon it was apparent that whoever it was wasn't going anywhere. But still Everyone ignored it. Then Kitsune spoke up from Keitaros lap. She had been there all day and rather liked feeling his RAM ROD.

"Naru would you get that for us suga?" said the now wiggling ash-blonde girl. The wiggling was for not only Keitaro but to see how Naru would react to her blantant display of sexuality.

All Naru was able to produce was a twitching eyebrow. She sighed in defeat and got up. After Naru walked out of the room. Motoko rose up and gave Kitsune a high-five. Keitaro just sat there with a stupid grin on his face. The feelings he was having were quite pleasant.

Naru finally reached the front door. and yet the knocking had yet to stop. " Alright already! I'm coming! " she said irritably.

"WHAT do you want!" she asked rather rudely.

A man stood at the door. He was dressed in a black suit with black glasses and an ear piece going up from his inner jacket to his right ear.A blinding white light was masking most of his features and Naru was having trouble making out what he looked like.

"W-who are you?" she asked nervously.

"Agent Smith. Are you Naru Narusegawa..?" he asked in a slow and methodical way.

"Y-Yes I-I am" she said now even more nervous. And who could blame her, I mean, after all that has happened to her in the last few days, you would feel nervous to if some black suit clad guy that was named the same name as a character from the Matrix movies. And in a way..he did kind of look like him to.

"Thank you for your time" Swiftly he reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a .50 cal Desert Eagle and promptly blew out Naru's brains.

The noise scared the others and they all ran out to see what in the hell had happend. They all winced when they noticed Naru's scared expression etched on her face. Blood and brains were leaking everywhere. They looked up and noticed that Agent Smith had yet to leave.

" your really might want to clean that up. Blood and brain matter tends to stain." with that he walked off into the bright white light.

Keitaro slid out of his bed as quietly as possible; he had barely managed to get out of a cuddling Mitsune's grip; she had followed him to his bed.

Anyway. He felt like having a mid-night snack.

He made his way down to the kitchen, not before passing by Naru's dead body at the entrance. He shook his head with a sigh.

"Geez, what a waste..." he said to himself. Shinobu spent a good while cleaning up the dead girl's bloody mess.

He then walked off to the kitchen. While he was looking for something in the fridge, he heard several footsteps coming behind him. He grabbed a slice of chocolate cake from the fridge and turned around.

He saw a –somehow- fully healed Naru behind him, with her mouth covered by a black glove and a shocked and pained expression on her face.

Behind her, wearing a full black tactical body suit and a triple visor on his head was Splinter Cell of the NSA, Sam Fisher; a knife was in his hand, and the blade was buried up to the hilt into Naru's back.

The girl finally stopped struggling and Sam drew the knife from her back. He looked at Keitaro through his Night Vision Goggles.

They stared at each other for a moment.

"I was just following orders, kid. You saw nothing" said Sam in his deep, suave voice. Keitaro just nodded dumbly. Sam nodded back and blended in with the darkness of the room.

Keitaro ate his slice of chocolate cake and then went back to bed, where a...HUNGRY...Kitsune was waiting for'im.

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A/N: now I find that these are for a good laugh, just writing them make me chuckle at times. I am sure my co-author Major Mike Powell III feels the sameway. If you also got a laugh out of this let us know.

R&R.


	4. Chapter 4

The Hinata Crew were having a nice breakfast.

Suddenly, the door to the dinning hall slowly slid open a bit, and through the crack rolled in a stun grenade. It kept rolling some more, stopping right at the foot of the table.

"Ah…what the-?" Keitaro was cut-off by the grenade going off with a blinding flash and a deafening BANG!

During the chaos that came at the table after the harmless explosion, an 8-man Special Weapons and Tactics team busted in.

"HANDS UP! DOWN TO THE FLOOR, NOW!" an officer yelled. Everyone at the table complied except for Naru and Motoko, who were still too stunned by the Flashbang.

The SWAT officers proceeded to take them down to the floor where they proceeded to beat the two senseless into submission.

Once the chaos subsided, the SWAT officers carried away the unconscious Narusegawa and Aoyama out of the building and into a van, while a couple of officers stood behind.

"Sorry for the trouble. We'll be going now" one of them said, while the other treated himself to a spoonful of Shinobu's cooking. He smiled at the young bluenette.

"AW3SOME cooking! Congratulations to the cheff!" this made the girl blush.

Once the SWAT officers were gone, the rest of them got back to eating: this time, Mutsumi seated herself in Keitaro's lap, baby-feeding him.

'I FINALLY have Kei-_kun_ to myself!' she thought happily.

………………………………………………………………………..

The Hinata Crew were having a relaxing lunch, when both Naru and Motoko walked back in to the dinning room.

Everyone looked at them for answers to what was that all about in the morning.

"Uhh…simple mistaken identities." Naru said a little nervously.

Motoko just stood there, frozen and glassy eyed. The rest just shrugged and let it drop.

But then, the door opened to reveal a not-too-tall man, all dressed in black with a blonde mullet adorning the top of his head.

Black-as-coal shades covered his eyes and a golden police badge hung from a chain around his rather massive neck.

" Name's Dog. And I'll be your escort today!" He stepped aside quickly and three more people barged into the room.

Naru tried to run, but was quickly taken down to the ground and sprayed with pepper spray; she cried out in agony as her eyes and throat burned like Hell.

Motoko, still frozen and glassy eyed, was also taken down, but with no struggle coming from her. Leland Chapman, Dog's son, decided to spray her anyway.

This finally got a reaction out of the girl: she sputtered and chocked on the noxious stuff. Dog and Leland high-five'd each other.

" Good job son!" Dog said happily.

"Thanks! All in a day's work." Naru chose that moment to show movement: she whimpered miserably and squirmed a bit. Dog walked up to her and kicked her hard in the gut.

"That will teach you to run from the law!" Dog and the other two picked the girls up and walked out of the Hinata Inn.

Keitaro and the rest just sat there in shock. But quickly shrugged it off.

Kitsune jumped into Keitaro's lap and began baby-feeding him herself. Keitaro couldn't help but think...

'Ahh..this is the good life'

And Mutsumi couldn't help but think…

'Ah, too bad. Well, I guess I'll have to share!'

----------------------------------------------------------------

The Hinata Crew, minus Naru and Motoko, were sitting down to the perfection that was dinner.

Keitaro stood up like he was going to make an announcement.

"I'm here to let you all know…as off tomorrow, I will no longer be manager of the Hinata Inn!" The girls gasped at his proclamation.

"Why Kei-Kun!?" came Mutsumi's angelic voice.

"No, _Sempai_!" Shinobu cried.

"Hiya! No, Keitaro-_nii-chan_!" Suu followed suit.

"What do you mean, suga'h?!" Kitsune did the same.

"This place is just becoming too weird!" he got a bunch of sweat drops. "Even for me!" he pointed at himself. "And that's saying something!" he added.

All of his words sounded heartfelt, but Kitsune detected something behind them.

"Are you sure you want to do this suga'h" her voice became husky and low. This made Keitaro gulp.

Kitsune knew he didn't want to leave. So she was going to give him a pretty damn reason to stay!

"Well, I, uhh...No…Not really… but with Naru and Motoko in jail for domestic violence and abuse, I just don't feel like living here anymore. I mean, how am I supposed to keep this place up with the loss of two renters?" He was nervous and un-sure of what to do.

Luckily Kitsune had already figured out how to persuade him in to staying.

She looked over to Mutsumi and nodded her head. The watermelon-loving girl smiled wickedly and nodded too.

"Keitaro...I have an idea, if you would like to hear it?" she asked slyly.

Alright, Keitaro was now nervous…and excited…at the same time.

Kitsune motioned for him to follow her with a sultry look and a wave of her hand. Mutsumi followed right behind him and gently slapped him right on his behind.

He "eep!"ed and jumped in surprise, looking at her with wide eyes. Mutsumi giggled.

Soon they reached Kitsune's room and upon opening the door, poor Keitaro nearly fainted: Inside there were shelves full of all sorts of sex toys.

Both girls walked in while Keitaro just stood there frozen with a crooked smile on his face.

A hand reached out and pulled the boy in.

For the next 3 hours, anyone within about 2 miles of the Inn could hear Keitaro screaming for mercy over and over…over and over…over and over…over and…over again.

………………………………………………………………………..

A midnight snack was just what Keitaro needed, despite just how NICE it was to sleep both Mutsumi and Kitsune, who liked to snuggle up against him…

So, he went downstairs to the kitchen and checked out the freezer.

He withdrew a plate with a burger in it and when he turned around, he froze: right there in front of him was his beloved aunt, Haruka…wearing a silk, sky-blue negligee.

His eyes drank in EVERY LITTLE detail of his aunt's body before he realized she was pinning his arms against the wall behind him. His terrified/shocked/lust-filled eyes saw the…different…kind of hunger in Haruka's eyes.

"Hey there, nephew. Let auntie 'Ruka give you a midnight snack…" she purred as she leaned in.

Dispite still being sore from the...FUN...he had earlier…He would be DAMNED if he missed this opportunity!

Keitaro didn't go back to his room that night.

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A/N: Well another chapter come on and gone. Hope you all liked it. Please drop us a review to let us know if you did. From **Vegetto800 **and **Major Mike Powell III.**

And be DAMN sure that the crackiness ain't over, marines!

_Semper-Fi_! Carry on!


	5. Chapter 5

The Hinata Crew were havin' a nice and relaxing breakfast.

Everything was relatively quiet, except for Narusegawa's menacing growls while Kitsune and Mutsumi baby-fed Keitaro.

Suddenly, rap music began to play in the background.

_Your time's up! My time is NOW!_

_You can't see me! My time is NOW!_

And in walked WWE superstar John Cena, wearing a black t-shirt and blue shorts.

He looked at the people gathered at the table for a moment, before raising his right hand up in the air and then waving it in front of his face.

"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" he said.

"What the…?" Naru growled. John Cena looked at her in the eye and she took a step back.

She was havin' a bad feelin' alright.

John walked up to her, yelled "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" once again and then grabbed her by the arm and leg. Cena put her into a Fireman's Carry, despite her thrashing wildly.

He then F-U'ed her on top of the dinner table, effectively breaking it in half.

He looked at the K.O'ed girl, then back up at the others, who were just…staring at him in wonder. He waved his hand in front of his face again, as his entrance theme played again in the background.

"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" he yelled again before giving the others his trademark salute and walking out the front door.

Once John Cena was out of the building, Shinobu spoke first:

"I'm SO NOT cleaning this mess up!"

………………………………………………………………………..

The Hinata Crew were having a nice lunch.

After the fiasco that happend with John Cena earlier, Naru had locked herself up in her room. For the rest of the people who resided in the old inn, everything was quiet and calm.

Shinobu had held to her word and NOT cleaned up the mess at all!

In fact, she made Naru clean it up…after she woke up, of course.

Now we pan the camera towards Naru's room.

She was sitting in the middle of her room, holding her ever present Liddo-Kun doll. In times of crisis or simply her time of the month...

OK, lets face it!

She was practically having an affair with the damn thing!

In all honesty though, it really was a great comfort to her. Even in the craziest of times, it would get her through.

Suddenly though, the room became pitch black. Then at her doorway, flames shot out from either side of it, thus engulfing it.

As they burned she could make out figure wearing red and black pants that looked to have rip marks on it. He walked in to the tune of "Slow Chemical" from a famous American rock band.

Naru started to shake violently. The flames were hot and she could feel the heat; she was sweating and hugging the doll for support.

Of course it was not enough!

The man's name that walked towards her was Kane, The Big Red Machine! He stopped in front of her and looked down at her trembling form. He started to laugh a cruel and evil laugh. He then spoke to her.

**"**I'm...baaacccckkkkkk!**"** and then he threw out his right hand that was encased in a black glove and gripped her by the throat, picking her up into his famous ChokeSlam maneuver.

He held her up in the air for a few second before slamming her down and through her table that normally had the doll on top of it.

She fell through the hole that connected hers and Keitaro's rooms. She hit the ground hard and bounced a bit before finally settling. The rest heard the commotion and hurried to Keitaro's room.

The smoking, prone body of Naru who twitched every now and again from agony was what met them upon opening the door. But then a huge figure jumped down through the hole. He scanned the rest of the occupants and then raised both hands up, dropping them down swiftly.

Another set of flames broke out of simply...nowhere!

He walked past them and out of the Inn.

The residents and manager looked back into Keitaro's room. No-one spoke for a moment. That was until the silence was disrupted by a moan from Naru.

**"**I bet that right now she's having a naughty dream about me. And she calls _me_ the pervert**"** Keitaro said with a snort, and everyone busted out laughing before walking away.

**"**Anoooo!!! What about the fire!?**"** shinobu said franticly.

**"**Ah...don't worry about it. I set up a fire sprinkler system last month.**"** Su said to the bluenette.

A sigh of relief was heard from the young girl.

Naru in the meantime was trying to get up; her body racked with pain. Just then, the sprinkler system kicked in and soaked her to the bone.

Unable to cope with this final indignity…she fell back down to the ground.

………………………………………………………………………..

The Hinata Crew minus Narusegawa were gathered for dinner.

Everything was quiet so far; Shinobu and Kaolla were chatting while they ate, and Motoko was watching Mutsumi and Kitsune sit on either side of Keitaro, baby-feeding him.

She was blushing.

Anyway! Everything was quiet until they all heard the sound of glass shattering and then came in rough metal music. They all looked at the entrance to the inn, where a bald man with a gotee walked in, sporting a black t-shirt with the phrase "Been there, Destroyed that!" imprinted on the back and a huge skull adorning the front. Blue shorts and kneepads with braces on both knees completed the outfit.

His name: the Rattle Snake, Stone Cold Steve Austin.

He walked towards the table with his trademark BMF walk (Bad Mother Fucker) Everyone was looking at him in confusion and a little fear.

"Ah…can I help you-" Keitaro began.

"WHAT?!" Stone Cold yelled at him. He blinked in confusion.

"Ah, I said-" he began again.

"WHAT?!"

**"** I'm sorry, do you even under...**" **

**" **WHAT?! **"**

Ok, this was getting ridiculous…suddenly, Naru came limping in from the stairs; she was using a long stick to keep herself up straight. She looked at Stone Cold and immediately frowned.

"Hey! Who are you and what are y-" she began.

"WHAT?!" and she was interrupted. She blinked twice before trying again.

"I said: who are you-"

"WHAT?!" Stone Cold began to walk towards her. She took a clumsy step back.

"I-I said…!"

"WHAT?!" he was now some inches away. Naru was scared shitless. She swallowed hard.

"I-I-I sa-sa-" she was interrupted again, this time, by a kick in the gut. Stone Cold then grabbed her head, turned around, made a little jump and then landed on his rear on the floor. The movement and position of her body caused Naru a huge amount of pain.

That! Ladies and Gentlemen, was the Stone Cold Stunner!

Now, with Naru down for the count, twitching every now and then, Stone Cold looked at Shinobu and made a wave with his hands. She nodded and produced a couple of beers. She tossed them at Steve Austin, he caught them in mid air. Smashing them together, he drank from both beers at the same time, making a mess of his moustache, baird and t-shirt.

He then tossed the empty cans on the floor, gave a K.O'ed Naru the old double bird salute.

"I'm SO NOT cleaning THAT up!" Shinobu quoted once again.

………………………………………………………………………..

Now it is time for the midnight snack.

This time however, Keitaro was NOT the first to come down.

As a matter of fact, it was Motoko. She had a plan and that plan was…to seduce him, so they'd be like he did with both Mutsumi and Kitsune. This was all that she wanted.

And the sigh that left her beautiful lips told the story.

To her, life was being unfair: First, a huge creature stops her from claiming Keitaro...

What?!

True! You people thought she wanted to hurt our beloved manager, right?

But in reality, it was just her way of showing affection. Kinda…violent, yeah, but c'mon! Give'er a break, people.

Anyway! She sat down at the table to wait for the man she craved. She was not disappointed, as Keitaro's figure emerged from the darkness of the other room.

He walked over to the fridge, not noticing her, just sitting there with her eyes trailing all over his shirtless body…She felt herself shudder at the apparent manliness that he exuded.

Well, being with both Kitsune and Mutsumi would do that to anyone!

Once he opened the door and the light flickered on in the fridge, he saw what he wanted and took it out. Turning before completely shutting the door, the light caught Motoko.

And it scared Keitaro into nearly droping his drink and food he had grabbed,

"Oh God Motoko-chan! You scared me half to death!" he stated, breathlessly.

Motoko just smiled at the poor man. She got up and walked over to him. Taking his hand, she led him to the table and sat him down. She then proceeded to sit in his lap, just like the other two women in his life. She then began to baby feed him…and of course he couldn't help but feel content at having another gorgeous woman do this for him.

His first thought would have been to run, alright. It was borne out of reflex.

But he figured…to Hell with it! If he was gonna kick the bucket, then this is how he wanted to go.

All too soon however, the peaceful setting was disturbed by none other than...Naru!

"What the Hell is going on in here?! I was right! You ARE a pervert!" She barked out a war cry and then began to really slowly hobble over to where Keitaro and Motoko still sat.

They seemed to ignore her (which infuriated her even further), but were in fact waiting for someone or something to come in and stop the raving lunatic.

Wish granted!

The kitchen door swung open violently, smashing against the wall.

In walked in...HARUKA-SAMA! with the ever present cigarette dangling dangerously at the edge of her lips. Those same lips curled up into an evil smile when she laid her chocolate colored eyes on Naru.

Walking over to her...

Ok, more like stomping over to her…She whipped out…the BIGGEST FLY SWATTER THAT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!!

She drew it as far back as she could and swung it with all of her might!

It connected with the frozen-still Naru and the girl flew right through a wall…

Much like Keitaro had on so many occasions by her hand.

Very ironic, ain't it?

Off in the distance one could hear the screams of rage and pain slowly fading as she got further and further away. Haruka put away the large fly swatter.

Where? Only she and God knows.

She walked over to where Keitaro and Motoko still sat and took up another chair right next to them. She faced it to her nephew.

He then saw she was wearing the same silk see-through negligee she was wearing, err…the last time they had "met".

Anyway, Haruka took a grape that was sitting in a fruit bowl that Shinobu had thoughtfully put out earlier, and fed it to the young manager.

"Is it good, Kei?" she asked. Keitaro nooded happily.

"Good, 'cause it's only going to get better!"

With that, she and Motoko took a hand each of Keitaro's and dragged him upstairs into Motoko's room.

As the door shut, Keitaro had one last fleeting thought.

"_I'm going to hell for this but...what a way to go!"_

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/N:** Well hoped you guys liked this newest chapter of Love Hina: The Crackiness Within. It was fun to write with my partner in crime **Major Mike Powell III. ** Don't forget to leave a review!

And now, here is brief word from our friend **Major Mike!**

**It's Major Mike Powell III, you moron! **

**Anyway; Off your sorry asses, marines! Here's our WWE tribute chapter! Hope you people liked it.**

**Semper-Fi! Carry on!**


	6. Chapter 6

The Hinata Crew was having a nice and relaxing breakfast

The Hinata Crew was having a nice and relaxing breakfast.

Everyone was present, yes, even Naru, who had made her way back to the Inn during the night.

Suddenly, the front door was smashed open and in walked…SPARTAN John-117, known by everyone as the Master Chief, clad in his MJOLNIR Mark 6 armor.

He walked up the table and gave everyone a silent stare.

"Ah…who are you and…what are you doing here?" Keitaro asked, flanked by Haruka-sama, Mutsumi-chan, Kitsune and Motoko.

Naru was cowering in a corner.

"This is SPARTAN-117…finishing this fight" the Master Chief replied coolly in a deep, irresistible voice and then whipped out a M-19 SSM rocket launcher.

He took quick aim and pulled the trigger.

Naru's last words were…

"Why me…?" before she was blasted into tiny little pieces.

Said SPARTAN then coolly and calmly walked out of the inn.

All the others stared at the blackened spot where Naru once was.

"Now...that was wicked!" Suu-chan said enthusiastically.

………………………………………………………………...

The residents of Hinata Inn were having a nice and relaxing lunch, specially now that Naru had been blasted to oblivion.

Everything was fine; Motoko, Haruka-sama, Mutsumi-chan and Kitsune were taking turns babyfeeding Keitaro, Suu and Shinobu were chatting happily…everything was peachy.

Suddenly!

"AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" they all heard a girl's scream getting louder and louder.

Then, the ceiling broke apart and in the middle of the room, raising a cloud of dust, landed Ranma Saotome, Anything-Goes martial artist.

"Damn…she overdid it this time…stupid, un-cute tomboy…!" Ranma-chan growled and stood up, the busty red-head dusting her clothes off in the process.

"Huh? Ranma-chan?" Keitaro asked with wide eyes. The boy-turned-girl looked up and her lips curled up into a smile.

"Yo, K-Man! Wassup, my man?!" the 2 of them shared a tight hug. "Howya doin', dude? How's the life treatin' ya?"

"I should be asking the same to you, Ranma-chan. What happened this time?" Keitaro asked with a laugh. Ranma-chan shook her head with a tired sigh.

"Akane caught me makin' out with Shampoo in my girl form. Damn it! We were just gettin' started!" he explained and they shared a laugh.

"Ah, Kei-chan, honey, ya mind introducin' us to yer friend?" Kitsune asked with a grin. Keitaro sweat-dropped and rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh, right! Girls, this is Saotome, Ranma-chan. I met her awhile back when Naru super-punched me out of town. I landed in Nerima, Tokyo, and Ranma-chan was passing by where I landed. We went for a drink, got to know each other, and…well, here we are!" he explained cheerfully. The girls then greeted Ranma-chan.

"So, K-Man, what've ya been up to here? These are the chicks that got ya whipped? Hahahaha!" she poked Keitaro on the side.

"Ah, hey! I didn't say whipped! I mean, err…" he blushed in embarrassment. All of them shared a laugh. "So, Ranma-chan…We were just having lunch. Why don't you join us?" Keitaro said, wrapping an arm around the red-head's shoulders. She shrugged and smiled.

"Sure, why not? I'm kinda hungry, actually." She replied and grinned at Keitaro. "Thanks, K-Man" she said huskily and then tilted her head upwards, stood on her tip-toes and kissed Keitaro on the lips.

Everyone's eyes shot wide open.

"W-W-What the Hell, Ranma…?!" Keitaro stuttered after breaking the kiss. Ranma-chan all-but doubled over in laughter.

"Hahahahaha! I-haha!- wanted to do that for a while now! Hahahahaha! It was totally worth it!" she laughed.

Keitaro "hmph"ed and looked at the girls, who weren't frowning at him, but smiling in understanding.

"Ok, that's enough, you two" Haruka-sama said casually. "Let's eat" she suggested.

Everyone took their place at the table and resumed their meal.

...

Dinner was at hand.

Everyone was quiet and content, and even more so was Keitaro, as he was once again being baby-fed by the lovely ladies of the Inn.

Ranma-chan had left earlier in the day, stating something about more fiancée's he was trying to get to know better.

Idle chatter was heard around the dinner table, but was soon shattered once again by an invading presence.

The door again was once again blasted down and in walked in a man dressed in military fatigues: a black and blue bodysuit with a black tactical vest, a .45 SOCOM pistol in his hand.

He was fairly young looking, maybe around 40, with a bandana wrapped around his forehead. His scratchy looking beard only added to his rugged appearance.

"W-who are you?" a startled Keitaro asked.

"Name's Snake Plissken. I'm here for Naru Narusegawa." He informed.

"I'm sorry, but Narusegawa-sempai was killed this morning by a cyborg named Spartan-117" Motoko said calmly.

"Shit!" Snake growled. He kneeled on the floor and put a finger on his earpiece. "Otacon! The girl is dead already! You gave me lowsy intel!" he said to, as the girls saw it, himself.

Snake frowned, nodded a couple of times and then stood back up.

"So, where can I find this Spartan-117?" he said in a dangerously low tone.

"Ah! Ummm…sorry Mr. Plissken..." Keitaro was interrupted.

"Call me Snake." He deadpanned.

"Uh yeah, Snake. Right, well, he just sorta left without saying a word." For some reason Keitaro's danger sense was going off. It was almost like he was about to be sent flying from one of a dead Naru's famous punches.

"I see…" Snake said to himself. He then shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I guess I have no choice but to turn this place into landfill."

With that he turned and dropped 2 ball-looking things. They began to beep almost immediately. Snake sprinted out of the building.

The Hinata Crew figured out almost right away what they were and scrambled to get away.

Once all were outside they looked back at the Inn.

A huge explosion rocked the area, and the building promptly collapsed.

Keitaro looked on with a very sad expression.

"Granny is SO gonna kill me!" he whined.

...

Normally, Keitaro would have gone down to the kitchen for his midnight snack.

But since the Hinata Inn was completely destroyed, there was no chance in that happening. They had to take residence for the time being in Haruka's tea shop.

It was cramped but it would do for now.

Keitaro still decided to go outside and look at the stars. Once outside he didn't notice that Haruka-sama herself was there also.

"Hey Kei" she greeted him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind, effectively keeping the young man from jumping out of his skin.

Haruka-sama just smirked at him.

"Hey Auntie..." Before he could finsih Haruka produced the biggest fan that he had ever seen and promptly swatted him down with it, making a small crater as a result.

"I love you and all, but still, STOP calling me 'aunt'" she deadpanned. Haruka-sama helped Keitaro out of the crater.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry. So, what are you doing out here anyway?" he asked, wrapping an arm around his aunt's shoulders.

"Just thinking...Hey, what's that?" She asked looking up in the sky.

Keitaro also looked up and noticed a long thin object hurtling toward where the Hinata Inn used to be.

"I have no clue…but its going to hit!" and true to Keitaro's word, the object hit dead centre of where the Inn was.

Another explosion rocked the area making an even bigger mark than before.

Everyone was awoken by the blast and ran outside.

"That's it! We are moving!" were Keitaro's final words.

...

A/N: Heads up, marines! Officer on deck!

Major Mike Powell III, with the 6º and last, yeah, that's right: LAST chapter of the "Crackiness Within" saga.

Hope you people enjoyed reading it as we enjoyed writin' it. And yeah, we know this final chapter wasn't as insane as the others, but hey, this is the best we could come up with. XD

_Semper-Fi_! Carry on!

Vegetto here. Figured I'd chime in on this. This may be the final chapter of this story, but we have others in the works still. Keep an eye out. Later.


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